Back To Regularly Scheduled Programming . . ?

My debts

an a new diet actually . . . end? Think back on the last time you tried to consciously change the way you ate. Maybe you decided to become a vegetarian. Hmm . . . didn't end well, eh? Was it the tofurkey?

Or maybe, just maybe, you were a little more ambitious. Huh? What could be more ambitious than giving up meat?

" . . . !"

Umm, okay, well, I never said I was giving up all sugar. Just, y'know, that white stuff you sprinkle over your steak. Oh, you don't sprinkle sugar on your steak?

Right.

So it became day 13 of the two-week Carbohydrate Minimisation Project (F.*.C.K.) and I had gone through the low-carb bread—which I wouldn't feed to pigeons—the no-added sugar jam (a Level IV biohazard) and the sugarless latte (yecch).

On Day 13 (yesterday) I went ahead and did the second Viome sample (they received my first one and are processing, and there's an incredible sale on that ends tonight!) and started planning for the return to my old diet.


But what exactly did that mean?

That meant: having copious amounts of full-sugar jam on my well-buttered toast in the morning (4 teaspoons of sugar in every serving) and honey in my tea (1 teaspoon of sugar.)

Lunch was usually seven or so Honeycrisp apples (yes, and I could have had 8 if they weren't so expensive)(33—thirty-three teaspoons of sugar!).

Then dinner, invariably something like pasta (not itself full of sugar but treated by the body as sugar—let's say 10 teaspoons) and then dessert: two hefty scoops of ice cream with lots of little sprinklies: 12 teaspoons of sugar.

That all adds up to a whopping 60 (sixty) teaspoons of sugar a day . . . every single day.

In my case during my regular eating routines I was actually trying to avoid sugar—you should have seen what things were like before I began eating apples! KitKat bars for lunch . . . need I say more?

So reducing from seven apples to three a day is not such an existential stretch.

But is two weeks enough time to remove an old routine—years old, in my case—and introduce an entirely different routine?

The short answer is: Yes. It's more than enough time. Deciding to switch from KitKat bars to apples can be done; I'm living proof.

As far as ditching white rice, pasta and white bread, well, it's hard, but it also can be done.

Reducing portions is easy (or at least it was for me). Eating in restaurants can be controlled. Avoid fast food whenever possible, but if it isn't possible, order water and ice, as those are two foods whose calorie counts the fast food people can't disguise.

From now on, unless I go through some miraculous climbdown and suddenly decide five nights in a row of white pasta is okay, I'm going to limit my carboniferous content.

Not to the extent of being a Ketoist, mind you, but a pesco-ovo-lactotarian.

That's Greek for Holy fuck, can this diet business actually be over?

But the chorus from the Microbiome is: Not yet, pal, not yet!

And it's true. We all await the results from Viome.