Sunday, November 24, 2019

"Undesirable Behaviour Patterns"

Recipe below
an you change a habit you've developed over the course of two years in two weeks?

No, but you might be able to do it in one week.

But how? How can you change a behaviour that you've spent years developing, refining and routinizing in a matter of days, let alone a matter of weeks?

Well, the way I figure it, there are two ways. One is to stop the behaviour abruptly and totally; just cease the cycle of repetition that goes in to every habit—the cue, the routine and the reward—for example, reaching the end of a task (the cue), reaching for the packet in your pocket, taking out a cigarette and lighting it (the routine) and inhaling it noisily, receiving a jolt of nicotine (the reward).

Just stop it: next time you reach the end of the task, you don't reach for the packet. Maybe because the packet isn't there. Maybe because it is, but you don't have a lighter. Maybe because you reach for a stick of gum instead.

But you don't reach the packet, and you don't smoke the cigarette. Or drink the beer. Or eat the chips. Or roll the dice. Or check the phone.

And the moment passes. The task is done, but you didn't smoke a cigarette.

Now, if you do that enough times, eventually you will reach a day when reaching the end of a task will no longer prompt the thought of lighting a cigarette . . . but you have to repeat the whole cycle enough times that your basal ganglia—the little man in your head pulling the wires and flicking the switches—will have forgotten why he made you want a cigarette in the first place, and move on to other things.

That's Theory #1.

Theory #2: I'm working on Theory #2.

MEANWHILE

I'm just about to embark on Week 2 of Phase II and it's . . . tough.

As you recall, I've reduced sugar to zero, and carbohydrates to as few as I can get away with; just those in fruits and the pathetic one (1) thin slice of gross low-carb toast I've allowed myself in the mornings.

And so what have I gained?

Well, for one thing, a blood sugar reading of—so far—nothing above 8.0mg/dl (144.0mmol/l) but usually below 7 (126). And then there's the small matter of five pounds, gone *poof* in seven days.

But at what cost.

I feel great! When I told an ER nurse friend of mine what my resting pulse rate was, he grew alarmed. "Dude, you could faint at any time!"

But I didn't faint.

I'm dying to find out what's going on with my microbiome . . . I took my first sample for Viome last Sunday and this coming Sunday I'll take another sample.

Today Brigitte looked at me in dismay. "You're getting so thin!" she cried dismay-ly.

All I could say was "It took me so looooooong!"


Absurdly Easy Shrimp Recipe


Serves One

You'll need two nonstick frying pans with covers for this: maybe one small and one medium.


Ingredients:

You should just make the amounts in the proportions that you like. The more the better! All the following should be raw and well washed.

1 White onion, cube-chopped like in Chinese restaurants

1 Red pepper, cut in thick strips

I head Broccoli, cut in florets. Size doesn't really matter.

3-4 large cloves Garlic, sliced thinly

6-7 frozen raw Jumbo (21/25 lb.) Gulf shrimp, shelled, tails still on. Wash thoroughly or brine (see below) and remove tails before cooking. Wait until shrimp have thawed completely before cooking.

Bean sprouts, extremely fresh, thoroughly washed

Thai Kitchen bottled Spicy Thai Sauce or other spicy Asian sauce that you like

Chili oil
Sesame oil

or any suitable stir-fry oil but NOT olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste




Celery, sliced on diagonal
Snow Peas, backbone strips removed and stems cut
Bamboo Shoots, washed thoroughly
Ginger, frozen then grated (2-3 Tbsp)


Method


Prefrying shrimp

In small frypan, heat on medium-high about 2-3 tbsp oil(s) until almost smoking or when a drop of water starts sizzling; about 3-4 minutes.

Meanwhile get second, larger pan ready by pouring in 4-5 tbsp of oils. Set aside while doing shrimp.

Drop in plenty of sliced garlic; wait until sizzling. Drop in shrimp. Stir with wooden spoon but don't turn shrimp. Don't let garlic stick to bottom of the pan and burn.

Add cracked pepper to taste. When shrimp have browned on one side, about 2-3 minutes, flip shrimp and then stir all. Cover pan and cook about 2 minutes. Set aside, covered, and put 2nd pan on burner.


Prefrying vegetables

In the bowl you're going to be eating from, assemble all the chopped, washed raw ingredients except the bean sprouts. This way it's easy to see how much food you're preparing and how much the finished dish is going to be.

Heat the oil in the pan until almost smoking, 3-4 minutes. Dump in ALL raw vegetables EXCEPT bean sprouts (and snow peas, if using).

Stir thoroughly for about 30 seconds or until all the vegetables are coated with oil.

Let cook without stirring, about 3 minutes. Now stir all the vegetables and then keep stirring from time to time (but not constantly) another 3 minutes.

Add bean sprouts (and snow peas, if using) and mix thoroughly. Fry an additional 1-2 minutes.

Quickly, using a spatula, transfer garlic-shrimp mixture to the pan and stir all ingredients briskly.

Quickly pour in about four good shakes Thai chili sauce, making sure the shrimp are well covered; stir all ingredients together quickly, COVER PAN tightly and turn off heat but let pan rest on the stove.

Get serving bowl ready and transfer contents of pan to bowl. DO NOT LET SHRIMP MIXTURE STAY IN PAN MORE THAN A MINUTE OR TWO. The key is to serve this dish immediately upon its being finished. Otherwise you will end up with limp broccoli and shrivelled bean sprouts and rubbery, overcooked shrimp.

Enjoy!


Quick-Brining Shrimp

For a pound of shrimp (20-25 critters)

1/2 C. sea salt
1/3 C brown sugar

In a large glass 2-cup measuring cup, put in salt and sugar and 1 C hot water. Microwave for about three minutes on high or until low boil.

Stir the salt-sugar mixture in the heated water with a tablespoon until everything is as dissolved as possible.

Drop in several ice cubes, if you have them, or add about a cup of the coldest water you can manage. You want the water to be higher than room temperature but not boiling—enough that you can put a finger in comfortably. Add the frozen shrimp directly to the brine. If they don't fit in the glass measuring cup, use some suitable container.

Stir thoroughly.

Set a timer for about 20 minutes.

Et viola! Experiment with the timing to see how salty you like the shrimp; 20 minutes seems to be a safe bet.

Remove the tails and proceed with above recipe.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Phase II Diary: Report on Day One

Stepped on the scales this morning and had dropped three pounds! That's an incredible amount in only one day.

Understand that I've cut a whole host of food from my day, mostly sweets: chocolates, ice creams, jams and then the carbohydrate foods: whole grain bread (good but still very high in carbs), pasta, and then the infamous apples.

Okay, I admit that eating seven apples a day is a bit much, but hey, if one apple is good for you, surely seven apples is seven times as good?

It's somewhat difficult assessing exactly which food it is whose absence has created such a precipitous drop in weight but I think it's safe to say that the ice cream is a large culprit.

Let's see how the day goes today, but three pounds . . . it's also the first time I've seen the number 170 in over a year . . .

Monday, November 18, 2019

Phase II: Diary Day One

Phase II Day ONE

Monday, November 18

Strangely, last night I was unable to finish the Indian food we ordered from Star of India on Ste. Catherine St.

I was also unable to finish the lemon meringue pie from the Duc de Lorraine and the Baskin Robbins (Bastard Robbers) Caramel Turtle Truffle ice cream.

Then, I was unable to sleep even one wink the entire night. Consequently I just gave up and got up at 5 a.m.

My new diet, beginning today, consisted of, for breakfast, six tablespoons of kefir and some Prebiotin powder, with a small piece of low-carb toast and butter—altogether probably around 12 grammes of carbohydrates.

I met my friend Nathan at the 24H 2nd Cup coffee shop on Cote des Neiges on a frigid (-12°) morning for our regular biweekly games of chess.

I ordered but couldn't finish even half of a café latte . . . with no sugar it tasted unexpectedly bitter.

This is going to be a very tough two weeks . . .

Friday, November 15, 2019

Countdown To Carbmageddon

ost people don't realize it, but inside and outside of us, trillions of bacteria, viruses, fungi and even insect life—lots of insect life—live in perfect balance, keeping all parts of us, large and small, functioning with no outward or inward signs of their existence.

It's only when these delicate balances are upset that we begin to become aware of the awesome power of these tiny creatures to influence our wellbeing—or lack thereof.

If we imagine ourselves to be a planet, then all of the various microbes listed above could be considered the aliens inhabiting this planet; inhabiting us.

Just like the planet we live on, Earth, the creatures that live on and in us are organized into vast populations of organized groups, but unlike Earth, easily the most numerous population of creatures that inhabit us are the bacteria that live inside our guts.

Let's consider this population of bacteria, leaving out for the moment the other things: viruses, fungi and so on.

We can imagine our gut to be like a city, and the bacteria to be the city's citizens. Just like in a city, there are neighbourhoods, some upscale and some not so upscale. There are upstanding citizens, and then there are gangs. And just like in a real city, there are police to control the gangs—bacterial cops.

Under normal circumstances, everyone in this vast city gets along very well. It's usually one big, happy family . . . until there is an invasion of the bad guys: the Pathogen Gang.

The Pathogen Gang can be small groups of hoodlums who breeze into town, get drunk on glycerides or other cheap chemicals and try to pick up local germs, but the bacterial cops usually have no trouble  kicking asses all round and the Pathogens are packed off and sent out of town on a, umm, crock of shit.

What I've been living on for the last two weeks
That's a somewhat simplistic description of what goes on in Planet Gut, but for the past two weeks I've been doing my level best to keep the kids in the 'hood very well fed on the finest life can offer because I want them to feel as good as they can feel before I pull the rug out from under their 52 trillion little flagellas.

Lemon Meringue Pie. Kinder BuenosBastard Robbers Caramel Turtle Truffle ice cream with lots of Magic Shell and sprinkles, not to mention whipped cream.

Enough sugar to trigger pre-diabetes in a termite colony crossed my plate in the last fourteen days and it's all coming to an end on Sunday night, November 17 . . . on that evening I'm going to fire up my test kit from Viome and see just what my microbiome has been up to, partying it up with all these sugars and fats.

After that, starting Monday morning, it's going to be two weeks of as little sugar as possible. No more six apples for lunch; it'll have to go down to one. No dessert after dinner. No nothing after dinner. Just tea.

It's going to be the toughest two weeks I've ever done, but it has to be done, if this experiment—fucked up the first time around by the idiots at uBiome (now justifiably bankrupt)—is to come to a successful conclusion.

So it's a sugar-filled countdown . . . to Carbmageddon.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Imaginings

ow much is a trillion? Can you even hope to visualize how much it is? Well, for one thing, if you spent a million dollars each and every single day—that's a million dollars, EVERY DAY—since Jesus was born, two thousand years ago—that's 730,000 days—you still would not have come close to spending a trillion dollars.

Here, how's this . . . imagine that this little grey thing on the tip of my finger is ONE UNIT.
This is one of our units—a little larger than a grain of sand.
That's about the size of a grain of sand, maybe a little larger. It's about one cubic millimetre.
Now, what if we took ONE TRILLION of these little blocks, and stacked them neatly, and then smacked them down into the middle of a busy street in Manhattan. What would a trillion of these little blocks look like?



A trillion grains of sand, all stacked and arranged into a nice grey cube. I did it myself.
Now. How big is a red blood cell? You know, those tiny things that travel around in your veins and arteries bringing oxygen to all your cells—and sometimes being invaded by bacteria and viruses (not to mention parasites and other nasty thingsies)?


Open this image in a new window and look at it. The poliovirus makes the bacteria look like the Hindenburg to a mouse.

So.


In our guts—that's the stomach and the upper and lower intestines, there are approximately 39 trillion bacteria, give or take a hundred billion here and there.

There are approximately 10,000 separate species of bacteria in our guts . . . imagine them to be different tribes living on an island, and you can kind of get a picture of the whole MicroBiome universe.

Science today has only just begun to understand the complexities of the MicroBiome; indeed, it's only since we've been able to sequence the DNA of all these bacteria that we've truly been able to understand just how many of these things live inside us, and what they do.

Some believe that the MicroBiome is some kind of a Second Brain, and indeed, in a lot of ways, it is: it issues many hormones that affect our moods, regulate hunger and so on. The list is long.

But if you want all the information I've accumulated before now about the MicroBiome you must visit BiomeMechanic I, which took place *gasp* going on three and a half years ago.So without further ado, I outline the following basic plan for this project:

Phase One: Fourteen Days

Begins tomorrow, Monday, November 4th
Ends Sunday, November 17th

Outline: I will eat higher-than-normal levels of sugary/fatty foods, meaning lots of dairy, white flour and sugary treats, such as lemon meringue pies, ice cream, chocolates, pasta—that sort of thing.

Then I will do a "gut output" test, courtesy of Viome.com.

I will document the progress of this phase lovingly, with photographs and musings.

Phase Two: Fourteen Days

Begins, Monday, November 18th
Ends, Sunday, December 1st

Outline: I will eliminate sugar from my diet as much as possible. This means elimination of sweets, refined carbs etc. etc. with a target of less than 100 grammes of carbohydrates and glucose per day.

Needless to say, this phase will be exceedingly difficult, not just because I have to maneuver through minefields of potential diet-busters and glucose bombs.

My whole gastrointestinal tract will be undergoing a reconstruction of monumental proportions. Those trillions of microbes are not going to be happy.

Then I will do a "gut output" test, courtesy of Viome.com.

Phase Three: Fourteen Days

Begins, Monday, December 2nd
Ends, Sunday, December 15th

Outline: I will go back to a modified "healthy" diet of low carbs and sugars, high fibre and no refined, processed junk.

This will hopefully be continued for the rest of my life, with no more need for BiomeMechanic Projects.

Then I will do a final "gut output" test, courtesy of Viome.com.

Conclusion

Monday, December 16th to ?

I will finalise and summarize any conclusions I can deduce from the three gut tests, with all the ramifications gleaned from the project, and decide how best to conduct the rest of my life based on these conclusions. Wish me luck!